21 Ways to Love Your Wife. 

1. AFFIRM

¶ Don't just expect her to live her life, solve her problems, and set her course, alone! Provide her with support and encouragement.

2. BE THERE

¶ Spending too much time at work, in the study, or at a mate's house, is not good enough! You cannot talk, share or love when you are not around! `So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.' (Ephesians 5:28)

3. COMMIT

¶ Do you want stability in your marriage? Show her that, no matter what happens, you are committed to her! You are not going anywhere! `Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it' (Ephesians 5:25)

4. DEFEND

¶ Being left `on a ledge' in awkward situations does not encourage security or peace. Is she the person you love above all others? Then be prepared to defend her when she is `under fire'.

5. ENJOY

¶ Don't be a depressive influence on your relationship. If you spend a significant amount of time complaining about how miserable your life is, don't be surprised when you both lose your joy in each other. Perhaps the greatest gift a man can receive (apart from salvation) is a godly wife. `And the Lord said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.' (Genesis 2:18).

6. BE A FRIEND

¶ Don't expect her to be hardworking, deeply thoughtful, or sensual every minute of the day. Sometimes she just needs a friend — someone with whom she can just `be'.

7. GIVE

¶ Perhaps the greatest enemy of marriages is selfishness. Learn to give — whether it is time, effort, the deepest thoughts of your heart, or a bunch of flowers — it is better to give than receive!

8. BE HONEST

¶ The best ally in a marriage is honesty. Once truth is compromised, your relationship ceases to be transparent, and intimacy is lost. Don't be deceived — the old saying `Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive' is no less true in your marriage!

9. BE INTIMATE

¶ Spending hours in front of `the box' watching footy does not encourage intimacy! Your wife will not `switch on and off' like the TV. Take time to be together, with no distractions.

10. KNOW HER

¶ Know what it takes to relax her, to make her feel good about herself. Be sensitive to her needs. Understand her dreams. Get to know when she needs to talk, and when she needs to be left alone. It is worth it!

11. LISTEN TO HER

¶ Don't try to do two things at once! You're a male — it won't work! When someone you respect and love is attempting to communicate with you, you give them your undivided attention. Listen! She will quiz you on it later!

12. SHARE MEMORIES

¶ Have you ever sat down together and recounted some of your history — not the extended family's history, not your individual histories, but your `story' as a couple? You will be surprised at just how many wonderful memories are there. `On the eighth day he sent the people away; and they blessed the king, and went to their tents joyful and glad of heart for all the goodness that the Lord had done for His servant David, and for Israel His people.' (1 Kings 8:66).

13. NURTURE HER

¶ Be involved with her life! Share her dreams, respect her hopes and desires... Spend time helping her to make them reality.

14. PROVIDE ORDER

¶ When life seems like a maelstrom, remember to stop (together) and remember the things that really matter. If you are `unstable as water' how can you expect your wife to be at peace and at rest? Provide the order that she needs. `And his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord made all he did to prosper in his hand. So Joseph found favour in his sight, and served him. Then he made him overseer of his house, and all that he had he put into his hand.' [Genesis 39:3-4.]

15. PRAY WITH HER

¶ How often do you pray together (besides meal times)? How often do you unburden your heart and share as she opens her soul to the Lord your God? Before you complain that the bond that you shared once is gone, ask yourself that question. When you have answered it, act upon it! The burden rests on you! `and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.' (1 Peter 3:7b)

16. QUIETEN HER FEARS

¶ There will be times when your wife is afraid. Don't despise her for her tenderness, but instead embrace the opportunity to care and to protect. `And God heard the voice of the lad. Then the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said to her, "What ails you, Hagar? Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is".  (Genesis 21:17)

17. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

¶ There is no excuse for not taking responsibility. This is your God-appointed role. `For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body.' (Ephesians. 5:23). To draw back from that command is to sin. When the going gets tough, it is not the wife who is expected to hold the reins, set the course, or fight off the enemy!

18. SHARE YOUR FAITH

¶ If both of you are Christians, you share a wonderful privilege. You are `heirs together of the grace of life.' `Likewise you husbands, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.' (1 Peter 3:7). Do not underestimate what you can achieve when you work together. `Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labour.' (Ecclesiastes 4:9).

19. TOUCH

¶ You and your wife are not to be `ships passing in the sea'. Don't forget the power of touch. The gentle touch of your hand may bring serenity to a tumultuous day. Stroking her hair can mean much more than the provision of an in-depth analysis and solution. 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.' (Genesis 2:24)

20. UNDERSTAND

¶ Don't just listen, understand! Not every problem needs to be solved instantly! Don't always try to do so. Instead, be willing to give an interested ear and an understanding heart. When she has something positive to share with you, accept it for what it is.

21. VOICE

¶ Speak! Give voice to what you are thinking, provided that it is spiritually beneficial. Much misunderstanding and heartache can be avoided by a willingness to foster open communication in your marriage. On a positive side, your friendship will blossom, and your love for each other will grow as you learn more and more about each other.

Author unknown.