The following is a transcript from ....

.... Wendy's Blog at ... https://sobriety6.home.blog

Sober in Church.
(sobriety6.home.blog)
An alcoholic christian story.

(The scattered illustrations are from clipart-library.com)
Step 5.

Posted by sober in church March 3, 2022.
"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs".
The list of my wrongs was very long for God; Halve that for admitting to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. 
Me admitting to me is another story; As I found myself to be always in the right when in addiction. It can some times turn into something called "victim mentality".

Full blown victim mentality is quite ugly. When you think the world owes you, (and such thinking) is wrong on all levels, especially if you are a christian, where God owes us nothing, but graciously gives anyway.
I know that no human being can forgive me like God can. I know that no human being can be trusted like God can be trusted with all my dark and horrible sins.

No human is prepared to send themselves, or their child to death, for the sake of me either. Not a single person. Yet Jesus went, without question, to a horrible death on the cross for us all. That includes me. I can't even trust myself. I wouldn't sacrifice myself for my boys. Or would I die for them? Well I proved in addiction that my needs were more important than they were. I remember my son walking out of the house crying, "but I want to stay with you Mum", after I had called a friend to come and get them, and drive them to their fathers house.
God sent His son into the world just primarily to die for every sin ever. This is why talking to Him about my sins and knowing he not only forgives me, but will love me regardless, is a great place to be. Herein lies the quirky upside of this whole scenario. God says, "go and sin no more". Now this is where the "will" kicks in. My will is strong. My will has the power to destroy lives. Without remorse. It's a power that can be used for good or evil. I know that nothing evil lives in me when I accept Jesus into my life as Lord and Saviour. I am no longer a slave to sin because Jesus lives within me.

It's a daily ritual going through the 12 steps that keeps me close to God. Everybody on the planet should be doing the 12 steps. I'll show you how basic it is; how Christian it is; how helpful it is to do them.
Step 1: I can't (because my life is unmanageable)

Step 2: He can (God can)

Step 3: Let Him (let God)

Step 4: Look within (make an inventory of my wrong doings and be honest)

Step 5: Admit wrongs (from doing inventory)

Step 6: Ready self for change (contemplation)

Step 7: Seek God's help (ask God to take it away)

Step 8: Become willing

Step 9: Make amends (with God, family, friends, all people affected by us in addiction)

Step 10: Daily Inventory (see step 4. This is maintenance)

Step 11: Pray and Meditate (daily, by moment)

Step 12: Give it away (pass message on)

So in a nutshell, (1) You can't do life alone, (2) God is waiting for you, (3) so let him have everything. (4) Write wrongs down and (5) admit it to God. (6) There will be change in you, (7) if you seek God with all your heart. (8) Be willing and be (9) prepared to see life totally differently. (10) Do this ritually and (11) pray pray pray, read, read, read. (12) give the message that you learnt to others around you who are in addiction.

A lot of people who find success with the 12 steps (it's The most successful program that keeps people sober), go on to study social work, counselling, drug and alcohol related studies. They want to put back into society what was given to them. They see how it works if you work it. Unfortunately a lot of people relapse.

Something less than 5% after their first soberversary stay sober. Its a sad fact. I am nearly 5 years sober and, even though I am sober now and can't see any relapse in sight, even after the deaths of Mum and Dad, there is always a small amount of doubt.
The 12 steps. Simple, successful, life saving, a pathway to eternal life and most importantly will keep you sober.
"If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"
[John 8:36]

Sober and Sane.

Step 2 of the AA Big Book says - We became aware that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity!
There are so many things I could write about here. The obvious being, who is that power that's greater than us, but as a Christian, for me it's always been, and always will be Jesus.
But I'd rather have fun writing about the insanity of addiction.
"Have one drink Wendy".. They would say, but I am unable to even contemplate what that means. One drink is like a tickle, then that phenomenon of craving starts. It's that insane thought that washes over you after one drink and you know the power has left you. It's a paradox for the Christian, you know you have the power of the Holy Spirit in you, yet that overwhelming sensation takes hold, that has to be satiated. Then, next thing you know, blackout. Hours have been lost. Dignity, lost. Trust from others lost, because you promised you'd just have one.
Then, the guilt, the remorse, the insanity starts it's cycle. The prayers, begging for forgiveness from God, the promises of, tomorrow I'll quit. It's a vicious cycle that seems like an eternal treadmill. 
I cannot, and will not answer anyone who asks me, why can't you just have one? I would love to be that person. The AA big book p.xxviii (the doctors opinion) puts it as succinctly as I could ever dream to write! Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others take with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
We alcoholics see others drink with impunity, which means basically they have freedom from the injurious consequences of their actions. Lots of people can drink, but do not have that desire to keep drinking.
The big book goes on to say ...On the other hand - and as strange as this may seem to those who do not understand - once the psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
The only solution is complete abstinence and to rigorously follow the simple rules of the AA Big Book. God is a God of miracles. His plan is the best plan. I am restored to sanity, finally. I was bought to a very dark place. It took many years to reach, and I can honestly say I understand now what God may have had in mind for me. I can talk to drunks, druggies, homeless, the insane. I understand them. They are my Peeps. I had to go through it all to understand fully what it's like for them. I have met but a few who aren't addicts that 'get' the plight of those who are addicts.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose".
Next Step 3 of the AA Big Book.

Sober In COVID.

How many people have heard that we'd either be ...  A chunk, A monk, A hunk OR A drunk? When we came out of COVID?
When I heard that sales of alcohol had gone through the roof, it didn't surprise me and that a lot of people, including Christians, would come out as drunks.
Addicts are not good in isolation. When we isolate, we enter our heads and become busy in our thoughts. No one foresaw what was about to happen at the beginning of the year, but now, in October, 2020, our heads are reeling still.
What just happened.
Has anyone put on a lot of weight OR became an exercise guru? Did anyone have so much spare time that they read their bible and discovered things about God that they hadn't seen before and became so In tune with the Holy Spirit that their prayer life has changed for the greater good? OR did you drink that little bit more and say to yourself every day, "It's ok because when COVID is over, I'll quit".??
Can I just say, that I have put on weight, my reading and prayer life is just as lacking as It was before COVID, I didn't exercise anymore than I did before COVID AND best of all I can proudly say I am sober still. So there must be more categories apart from Chunk, Monk, Hunk, Drunk.

I must also say, the CLASSIC line of an addict is "I know I can quit". No you can't. You cannot quit on your own. Try it now. Quit. Just like that. No one yet has been able to, that is if they're an addict. If you're drinking everyday and possibly more than you used to before COVID and being truthful to yourself, is the answer to quitting "YES"?
Our addictive mind lies to us. I often said to me, more often than I would like to confess, that  "I can stop whenever I like. I just choose not to stop" (drinking). The problem was (is) I love(d) alcohol. I cannot JUST have one. If I pick up a drink it's to oblivion. I say to the 'one drink' drinker, "how can you have only one"?
Recently I had a lovely lunch with my son at the old Customs House Restaurant and watched 2 couples also having a relaxed meal out. The lady of the first couple sat on one glass of wine and to my amazement left a half empty glass (or was it half full). She seemed more preoccupied with the glass of water. My addicts mind went to places that I care not repeat here, needless to say I was truely in awe of someone having half a glass of wine. I cannot do that. If, for arguments sake the alcohol ran out (when I was in addiction) I would have a trusty bottle in my bag to drink (if need be in the toilet block). The alcohol never, ever ran out and, on top of that, I drank the bottle in my bag as well. This is drinking alcoholically.

So when someone now says, "just have one", I know they are not an addict. They can have a few sips, half a glass. I admire them for NOT being an addict. Now for the second couple. Two mates having after lunch drinks, one bloke sat on one beer, the other bloke had a beer and a cocktail lined up at the same time. The first bloke downed only half his beer and left. The second left after every drop of both drinks was finished. I related to him more. So back to the basics of this whole story and the challenge starts with step one, and this is back to basics of the AA Big Book, we admitted we were powerless over our addiction, our lives had become 'unmanageable'.

This step for the Christian, is the hardest of all. This power is the Lord Jesus Christ himself. He knew no sin and had no need for drinking alcoholically (because he was so close to His Father that he didn't need to be drunk). So too can we be so close to God that our minds are filled with wonder and awe and love of Him.

Don't you want to be so close that the last thing you think of when you go to bed is the Father, the Son and the infilling of the Holy Spirit, AND when you wake up you say "Good morning Lord". Yes I do too. I'm a step closer than I was yesterday to being closer to God and will only fully reach this perfect state when I'm in the presence of my loving saviour.
I hope to DEBUNK all those people who think we will all come out of COVID as only just drunks, monks, hunks, or chunks. "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good but I cannot carry it out". [Romans 7:18]

Overcomers Outreach.

Being involved with Overcomers Outreach has given me a great insight into what it's like to facilitate a group within a church context. OO started 17 years ago in Sydney with Penny Wilkinson. It's a 12 step group but with Jesus as our higher power. No apologies there. OO also caters for every addiction not just alcohol and drugs. Eating, gambling, sex, work, relationship etc. For with 90% of addictive behaviours, lies the root cause of trauma in childhood. So we basically are all wired with this insatiable desire to do something over the top and at risk of hurting ourselves and others.

Outreach groups... One in Broadmeadow and the other in East Maitland. Hoping soon to start Raymond terrace and Cardiff. Penny said "be careful of burnout", but I have to take the risk. The voice of addiction in church is a silent monster. It destroys lives, families, friendships, marriages and most importantly our walk with God.
What is our lord when we are addicts? It's not God. I remember every morning praying the sorry prayer to God but by 3 (and subsequently earlier as my addiction grew) I was plotting and planning my next bender. I'd be completely drunk by 5. And it didn't stop there. I would go out (yes drive) for more alcohol.
I did go DUI twice and loose my license for twelve months. I then had to put a breathalyser in my car to start it up. It's humiliating.

Back to OO and facilitating church groups. It's basically difficult. If you don't have people beside you and praying and helping it's a difficult job I would imagine. But I have a faithful group of woman praying every Monday morning for the sick and suffering drug addicts and alcoholics at our local rehab centre. I have a lady in the church that wouldn't even dream of missing an OO meeting. She's not an addict but she loves seeing addicts recover. Plus I have pastors that see a real need in the community.
If there's a need and God has a plan for you, then run with it. You will be blessed out of your little cotton socks. God is just waiting for us to do His will. You are on another plane working with him not against Him. Because as a Christian AND an alcoholic I've been going against Him for years.
Surrendering to the reality of alcoholism and attending AA every week and being in fellowship with other Christians, life is good.
Still Hard. But GOOD!

Excerpt From Part 2.
But I hear you say, "but I'm powerless over this addiction"! Yes, we are powerless, but we also have someone we can go to, for everything and lay it at His feet. Jesus doesn't mind if we take a few steps forward then backwards, as long as we are moving forward. To Him.
It's like Jesus' story of the the prodigal Son. We were that son. We took it all, and in our pride, thought we could do it on our own.
I hate to tell you folks but we can't. We cannot do anything on our own. I know. I've tried. Fell flat every time. It's taken 50 years (and hopefully you get this, long before I did) but we can't survive without Jesus as the centre. I can only say that the longer I left it to fully grasp this idea, the more I now want to dedicate every waking moment to helping people realise that Jesus loves you. Yes you're an addict, but God's love is bigger than your addiction. Hand it over to Him.
Wendy's blog ... https://sobriety6.home.blog/